My First Christmas without my Mom.

My mom and 3 of our 4 kids a few Christmases ago.

Have you ever experienced the feeling of let down after Christmas?  It usually happens to me, I love Christmas and the excitement would build and build all December and then SUDDENLY it's all over.  This year it didn't happen to me.  This year I am so content with how it all went, I was more organized than ever (and I attribute that to the inspiring blogs that I have been following) but also, I was not nearly as excited as I usually am.  You see, earlier this year my mom and my kids beloved Nana passed away from Breast Cancer.  My dad is quite lost without her, and I have been terribly worried about him and about how this Christmas was going to fly with no mom bringing our family together.  I have only brothers, so this responsibility was now passed on to me (If I ever DO come back...I want to come back as a man!).  Growing up, Christmas was a very big deal in our house and my mom brought out all the excitement.  She would bake Nanaimo Bar and Trifle and do a once a year big grocery shop where each of us kids got to pick one "treat" that she would buy.  I remember one year I chose nutella, and it is still one of my favourite Christmas treats.  Anyways, this year Christmas was at my home, and my dad stayed with us for 2 nights so that he was not alone and I have to say, it went so much better than I expected.  Yes...I did have tears streaming down my face at our Church's Christmas Eve service during 'Silent Night' (my mom's favourite Christmas song) and I broke down while wrapping presents when I realized I was not wrapping one for my mom, but other than that it was a peaceful, joyful Christmas.  I made the Nanaimo Bar (my base was crumbly...I'll work on that next year!) and I made the Trifle (Sans Sherry to my brothers disgust (next year HE can make it!).  So as I'm sad to see the holiday season come to an end and the inevitable taking down of the Christmas tree, I can look back on this Christmas and feel very blessed indeed.